Is Menopause a Taboo in Your Organization?
by Megan Reitz, Marina Bolton and Kira Emslie
February 04, 2020
Summary.
Menopause is one of the strongest and most discriminatory taboos still existing in the workplace. The mental and physical symptoms and their negative effects on women’s productivity are needlessly exacerbated by poor policies and persistent, outdated, gender- and age-related assumptions. The authors describe how women experiencing these symptoms can react, and how we all can and should play a role in breaking the silence.
Every woman goes through it, and many of them are in the workforce when they do. But the word is hardly used — it’s often referred to as “the change” or “the transition.” When it is spoken about, it is often couched within a joke.
It’s time for us to take menopause at work seriously — and for women who suffer from its symptoms to feel able to speak up on their own behalf.
Consider these numbers: The average age of onset for menopause is 51; symptoms usually last between four and eight years. There are 61 million women over the age of 50 in the U.S. workforce. This same category represents the fastest growing portion of the U.K. workforce.
These women experience symptoms that affect their work. A recent Chartered Institute of Personnel Development (CIPD) survey in the U.K. found that 59% of women experiencing menopausal symptoms said they had a negative impact on their work and around half found it difficult to cope with their tasks. Another study of nearly 900 professional women found that lowered confidence, poor concentration and poor memory associated with menopause symptoms caused them particularly significant difficulties at work. Other studies have shown that during menopause, levels of estrogen fall and testosterone levels rise, which can lead to hoarseness. At the same time, the muscles and tissues surrounding the larynx often start to weaken, hampering the vocal cords. So some women experience, literally, a loss of voice.
But many women experiencing menopause also lose their voices figuratively: While nearly a third of women surveyed in the CIPD study said they had taken sick leave because of their symptoms, only a quarter of them felt able to tell their manager the real reason for their absence.
The paucity of reports that examine the costs associated with menopause in the workplace is yet another sign of the suppression of conversation about the topic; there are even fewer accounts about the costs of the silence that shrouds it. This silence stifles the possibilities of implementing work practices that could assist women, such as flexible working or workplace environment changes. Lack of openness — and even worse, outright derision or bullying — can lead to reduced job satisfaction, unnecessary stress, anxiety and even depression for women who feel unable to seek support. The costs are also high for colleagues and the organization as productivity decreases and in some cases female employees decide to leave the workforce altogether.
Why the silence?
At a societal level, gender bias and misogyny still loom large. Though there may have been some improvements in past years, it is clear to see why patterns of silence remain rooted later in life when society persists in pressuring young girls to keep quiet on issues of menstruation.
At an individual level, the research one of us (Megan, with her co-author John Higgins) has conducted into speaking up at work suggests more specific reasons for the silence. Our survey of more than 5,000 employees showed that the most common fear that prevents speaking up is the fear of being perceived negatively. In the case of women speaking up about menopause, this fear is particularly prevalent when the manager is male — and especially if they’re young. Their fears are well founded: Some women report being ridiculed, harassed, or stereotyped for being menopausal. It’s not surprising that women fear that speaking up will mean managers will assume they are not performing as well as they should, and might withhold promotion or target them during layoffs.
What you can do about it
If this taboo is to shift, all of us — and especially company leaders — need to do three things: seek to understand, listen up, and drive changes to support structures inside the workplace.
Seek to understand: Especially if you manage female employees, being knowledgeable about menopause should simply be part of your understanding of your team and workplace. What do you know about it and its effects on your colleagues? If the answer is “very little” or “what my mother/wife/friend has experienced” then educate yourself: There are useful resources available specifically for people managers through the CIPD and other venues. Be ready to support a colleague or employee when they bring up the subject, rather than putting them off with a misinformed or ill-prepared response.
Listen up: Megan’s research over the years has shown that managers often don’t appreciate how intimidating it can be for employees to speak up. Managers tend to overestimate how open people are with them and assume they are better at listening than they really are. Don’t fall into this trap yourself! Pause and consider: Who might find you scary to talk to, and what fears might female employees have around speaking up about menopause specifically? How can you make yourself more available and enable these more personal conversations? Also guard your reactions if someone raises the subject. If your response in the past has been to laugh uncomfortably, mutter “Hmm, yes it’s tricky isn’t it, maybe see a doctor” and swiftly change the subject, then you need to rethink it. Instead, listen and inquire: Ask them, attentively, what their experience is like and what you and the organization can do to help alleviate the challenges and symptoms.
Drive change: Guidance for workplaces on how to handle pregnancy is commonplace but it is almost non-existent for menopause — what can you do to change that? Be proactive and start a conversation in your organization with others who can influence policy, education, and communications. If you stay silent through embarrassment, then you are simply reinforcing the taboo that already exists. In the U.K. Civil Service, a menopause network has been established and support products developed. This includes specific guidance for managers to support them in taking steps to create a workplace environment where menopause is acknowledged and understood.
While these guidelines for women’s managers and colleagues can help create a workplace where it’s safer to talk about menopause, and while the work of overcoming the taboos should not fall on women, the reality is that women going through menopause will confront uncomfortable situations with colleagues. If you are experiencing symptoms of menopause that are affecting your work, our research suggests:
If you are asked how you are or how you’re feeling, if possible, give clear, plain responses and avoid euphemisms which can confuse and perpetuate embarrassment. For example, at the start of a senior government meeting, one of us (Marina), experienced a hot flash and began to fan herself. A senior male leader in the meeting commented, “It looks like you’re expecting a grilling!” Her heart pounding on the inside, Marina calmly responded, “Actually, no, I’m going through menopause, a symptom of which is extreme hot flashes.” She explained that “All women go through this experience and as such we need to pay due regard to that in meetings such as these.” The leader momentarily looked shocked but then became thoughtful. Marina appreciated his serious response: “That’s a really good point, and clearly something I’m not properly paying attention to.”
If you aren’t getting the support you need and you see something similar going on with other female colleagues, consider speaking up collectively. As we all saw with the #MeToo campaign, speaking up with a collective voice can have more impact. Within an organization it can also feel safer to speak up as a group.
Menopause is one of the strongest, most impactful, and most discriminatory taboos still existing in the workplace. The mental and physical symptoms and their negative effects on productivity are needlessly exacerbated by poor policies and persistent, outdated gender- and age-related assumptions. We all can and should play a role in breaking the silence.
Megan Reitz is Professor of Leadership and Dialogue at Ashridge Executive Education at Hult International Business School. She speaks, researches, and consults in order to help organizations develop more open, mutual, and creative dialogue. She is the author of Dialogue in Organizations (2015) and co-author of Mind Time (2018) and Speak Up (2019). Follow her on Twitter at @MeganReitz1.
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Marina Bolton is a Director of Organisation Development, Design and Learning in the UK Civil Service and is a Menopause Champion of the Civil Service Menopause Network. Marina is also a doctoral candidate in organizational change, researching the role of compassion in our daily lives. Follow her on Twitter @marina_bolton.
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Kira Emslie is a voice and body language specialist, working with the NHS leadership academy and The Kings Fund. She is an Estill Certified Master Trainer and works as part of the team at www.speakinguplisteningup.com and is currently researching voice and the effect of emotions and hormones at NHS IAPT. Follow her on Twitter @KiraEmslie.